Now I am certainly not justifying sin by any means, but I can see in it this self-perpetuating fire that gives us a temporary rush and feeling of being alive. But, it burns us out. Sin spends all of our internal fuel on destroying ourselves unbeknownst to us, as we can only feel the flesh-gratifying rush of our own bodies burning up our fuel.
When we become Christians, the opposite occurs. Instead of a self-gratifying rush, we feel a different energy, an uncomfortable and unsettling pain of denying ourselves. Sure, we often fall back on the highly addictive impulses of fulfilling the desires of our flesh, and then we, if we are following the Christian ways of repentance, feel the unsettling pain of confession to purge ourselves of this addiction.
One way to look at it is, before we were Christians, we turned inward to our own bodies as our comfort and home, and a temporary home at that. As Christians, we are breaking free of this flesh-driven existence like an eagle breaking out of its egg, or a flower emerging from its seed. Once the shell is broken and the eagle emerges, this body then becomes the vehicle for the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, the grace of the Holy Spirit who dwells in us.
This is why the spiritual life is such a battle - it is always about not getting comfortable and continuing to fight the good fight. If we get comfortable, then we are allowing the flesh to get its way. It will burn up our life until we are nothing but ashes. But, when we fight to break out of this shell, out of this seed, the flesh is crucified and risen, and our energies fill the world with life – God’s life. We become deified and transfigured - we attain to theosis, spirit, soul and body. We acquire the Holy Spirit.
When we choose to sin, we close the door on the light God is shining in us, and our being is filled with darkness. We feel the consequences of the death sin brings. We beg for mercy and forgiveness hoping to never sin again and know the horrible emptiness of our sin. We repent and open the door again for the Light to shine forth in our beings and transform us into the image of Christ; to transfigure us as He did Himself on Mount Tabor. I think this is the hope of all Christians – Christ in us, the hope of glory. Few will know it in this life to the extent I have described it above, but we all will know this glory, in all its fullness, unto the ages of ages.