Lord, Teach Me To Pray!

I remember for many years crying out to God for a meaningful prayer life. I would hear our pastor emphasize each week in his sermons the need for spending time alone with God. So, I tried. I would show up to my "appointment with God", as he liked to call it, with my Bible in hand and with my list of things to pray about. I never felt like I was quite getting it right.

I wasn't alone in this feeling. My Christian friends would often bring this topic up in conversation. They would ask, "How do you do your devotional time?" I could only say I was struggling with it too, and I told them that I would read the Bible and offer up some prayer requests during my devotionals. Others would say you should use a Bible study guide or a devotional book. As much as it was a struggle and mystery on how to do this, I would continue to show up, even if for only fifteen minutes. My prayers seem to fall flat, and the most oft repeated prayer for me was, "God, how do I pray? How do I have a fruitful time alone with You?"

My wife and I went to a reunion of some of our long-time Christian friends several years ago, and the guy who used to lead the group gathered us all in his living room for a short devotional. He asked how many of us are consistently spending time alone with God. I raised my hand, even though that time alone often seemed empty. But, surprisingly, no one else raised their hands! At that point, I was embarrassed to stand out as "Mr. Super-spiritual". As the conversation ensued, however, it was evident others had struggled and simply gave up trying to create a meaningful time alone with God.

And, several years later, along came Orthodoxy. Now, it's not a matter of what I should pray, but in finding enough time to pray! My prayer time now is radically fruitful; radically meaningful. Not to say it isn't a struggle to get myself out of bed, but once I am up, I know what needs to be done according to my prayer rule. The Lord answered my prayer by bringing me the time-tested and enriching prayers of the Orthodox Church. My prayer life has become something far more than it ever was as a Protestant, and something far more than I ever expected it could be!

I think everyone needs a system to make their prayer time meaningful. After trying many different ways, I find the Orthodox system to be the most engaging and life-changing. Instead of sitting on my couch, coffee in hand and my Bible open to an inspirational passage as I send up my wish-list of things I want to happen, I now enter the prayer arena in the Orthodox fashion. This means lighting a candle, fasting, awakening my spirit and focusing my mind through using the Jesus prayer, acclimating my senses to the Kingdom of God by using icons, Christian symbols and colors, opening my prayer book and engaging in prayers written by the humblest of Saints that change me as I pray through their penetrating insight into the condition of my soul.

Yes, it is a radical change from my Protestant days, and most Protestants would find the typical Orthodox prayer corner distasteful. Nonetheless, it is a system of spiritual saturation in all things Christian designed to change you from glory to glory and prepare you for His glorious Presence, both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.

Holy Smoke!

I apologize for my unplanned and unannounced hiatus – it is my plan to have a new blog each week from here on out.

On that note, an incense story.

Desiring to enrich my prayer life, I made my first attempt to use incense during my prayer time at home. I thought it would be so simple, so easy, so discreet. Since the rest of my household is not Orthodox, I waited until they were all sleeping soundly in their beds three and a half levels away from my prayer corner on the opposite end of the house. My prayer corner is in a place where no one likes to go anyway. It is an unfinished sub-basement often referred to as the “dirty basement” by the female members of my family.

I lit the charcoal disc and waited for it to get hot. After a short sizzle and some flying bits of tiny red sparks, I launched my first incense kernel like a mini chunk of food on a tiny little grill. It produced some smoke for what seemed like a very short time. So, I threw another one on, and then another, and then another. I continued in my prayers relishing in the added olfactory dimension of this truly blessed time of prayer.

I didn’t realize how much smoke that little censer was putting out until I turned around and saw a thick, hazy fog filling my little basement. It looked rather neat to see the light beams from my clamp-on lamps shoot through the smoke. However, I was getting concerned about how much of this was drifting upstairs. The two times my family has been to an Orthodox service, the incense nearly choked them to death – they recoiled every time they saw the priest start to swing the censer.

After I left the basement, I did a sniff test to see if I could smell it anywhere near the door. I didn’t smell anything! I checked a few more corners of the house to see if it made its way up through the vents – still nothing. I felt good about heading to bed, as I was still one level away, and the smell did not drift. That was about 10:30 P.M.

I’m lying in bed still a little concerned, because that was a heck of a cloud I left behind down there, and I knew it had to go somewhere. At around 11:15, it had wafted its way into our bedroom. My wife, who was sleeping so soundly when I came to bed that she didn’t even wake up when I plopped down on the mattress, suddenly was becoming restless. She let out a sleepy cough, and then another, but this one was a little more robust. She then sat up in bed, and I pretended to be asleep hoping she didn’t notice. Still half asleep, she said, “Something’s burning!”

So as not to worry her, I immediately confessed I used incense during my prayers before bed, at which point she pleaded that I never do that again. After listening to her cough and hack for the next fifteen minutes, I of course agreed to her request.

I guess there’ll be no smells and bells at my household for a while. It all just seems so censeless (groan!)

Orthodox Lent

Fasting is hard. No matter how you look at it, fasting is hard. It requires a good deal of sacrifice to do the fast right. You not only have to look at your internal motivations and attitudes, but you also have to maintain the Church prescribed diet in obedience to God.

But, with that said, I want to offer a up a public thanks to God and to all who peruse here - it would be much more difficult for me to keep the fast if it weren't for my wife making me special meals. I have heard of other converts whose spouses did not convert with them (as is my case) who were on their own when it came to the fasts. My wife is first to admit she dislikes cooking, and she thinks God has a grand sense of humor to place her in a situation where meal-making is yet more challenging. She not only does this during Great Lent, but also during the week on Wednesdays and Fridays. So, as I have told her and now broadcast to the world, thank you! Thank you for your service to God in my spiritual journey and for understanding this is where I need to be.

Like all good, God-fearing Protestants, she has issues with some of the Orthodox ways, yet she still supports me in the fasts, the feasts, the extra services during Lent, and in going to separate churches. Certainly not an ideal situation while raising two pre-teen daughters, but the peace is kept in the household, and my prayers go up for her and for them.

If you feel so inclined, I would love more than ever to have them join me on the Orthodox path, so please keep them in your prayers.

May God's profound peace and enriching grace be yours during this most holy of all seasons.

(For all of those who are Orthodox seekers, there is no better time to check out Orthodox services than during this period when many extra services are done throughout the week - I especially like the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy on Wednesday nights.)

"It's Fine For You, But It's Not For Everybody"

"Well..." they begin to say as they become more and more put off by your convert enthusiasm, "...it's good for you but it's not for me." I often heard this when I became 'born again' back in the early 1980's. They would say Jesus isn't for everybody, or they might even say Jesus can't be the only one true Savior. What about those who have never heard?

Now, my new convert enthusiasm is from discovering Orthodoxy. I began telling all of my Christian friends - friends who used to pass out tracts with me as we witnessed to the lost out on the street corners and who heard all of the same excuses - about my great find in discovering the Orthodox Church. And now, they are saying, "Well, it's good for you but it's not for me." and "There can't be only one true church. What about all of the other Christians?"

Ironic, isn't it? I guess it goes to show people are pretty much the same when they don't want to have their minds changed about something. We all make excuses for why we don't want to change. The non-believer says, "As long as we all believe something, and are sincere about it, that's all that God cares about." And the Christian, when confronted with the big, scary, historical, beautiful, Orthodox Church, says "As long as we all believe in Jesus, that's all God cares about."

I am certainly over-simplifying here and mean no offense to anyone, but it has been almost comical to me to get pretty much the same reactions and hear the same lines from my Christian friends when I present to them the very thing that would complete their Christian faith. I know I have said this before, and others have said it too, but it truly was like finding a treasure hidden in a field - a treasure with no end to its riches.

Why Pray To Mary and the Saints?

There has been a recent discussion about Mary on The Path blog. I really enjoy his honest inquiry. This discussion about Mary generated quite a few responses, two of which were from me because, like many former Protestants, this whole idea of Mary and the Saints is a huge deal. From the outset of my journey, it was one of the most distasteful things for me. I thought, "Why can't they just leave that part out - it is just so unbiblical!"

It wasn't until I read a response from Perry Robinson that it hit me. Here is a snippet of Perry Robinson's comment followed by what I posted:

"The saints are deified and enjoy participation in the divine life to a fuller measure. Consequently they not only enjoy holiness and immortality but other divine powers also." Of course, this is exactly it! If they were great prayer warriors here, how much more so there? If they were great miracle workers here, how much more so there? And if Mary was the God-bearing, God-honoring, God-fulfilling worker of His divine will here, how much more so there? I can picture it. We don't become less and dissipate into the fog when our life ends here, we become greater; we see Him face-to-face and become just like Him, for we see Him as He is: An interceding high priest before our Father in heaven, working miracles for the glory of His Name.

I then remembered Jesus stating that wherever He is, His servant is there also - how much more so in the heavenly realm! As Christians, it only gets better for us. Knowing concretely we have this great cloud of witnesses, of intercessors, of miracle workers and protectors, how much more dynamic and rich does that make our walk with God? This is a great relief for me. This is the kind of answer I was hoping for, one that would make me say, "Aha!" I thank God now more than ever for bringing me into Orthodoxy. This is such a milestone moment for me in my journey. I no longer have to internally wince when I hear a saint answered a prayer or Mary performed a miracle - they are His Body, His city and His heritage, living stones in His spiritual household and pillars in the temple of God unto the ages of ages, Amen.

The Mystery of God

The first time I heard “Praises” in Tone 2, one of many mellifluous, age-old Christian chants, it felt as if my soul was a restless sea and Christ had calmed the waters through its melody and meditative words. Arrogantly thinking that maybe I could improve on this simplistic style of music, I began searching the internet for more chants. My searches kept landing me on Eastern Orthodox websites, the ancient paradigm of Christianity known in part for its icons, incense, intense regimen of prayer and fasting, and emphasis on union with the mystical and ineffable God as the means to salvation.

I had only vaguely heard of Eastern Orthodoxy before this search for chants, but I immediately identified with its all-encompassing lifestyle of Christian spirituality. Several times throughout each day, prayers and Psalms are offered up in remembrance of Christ’s hours on the cross and of the out-pouring of the Holy Spirit. Each day of the week carries its own biblical and spiritual theme, and twelve times throughout each year, a major feast, commemorating the things God has done on the earth, is celebrated. For me, this saturation in the things of God is important, as well as the framework of discipleship, accountability and support which are inherent in the fabric of Orthodoxy. So, I gladly joined their ranks to experience it all first hand.

Converting from Protestantism to Eastern Orthodoxy is challenging because I am being stretched not just by the Bible, but by a Church Tradition complementary to the Bible which has been passed down through the generations. I am being formed by a different understanding of the faith which states God’s grace is more than just His favor, but is His divine energy vivifying and permeating my being for good works, and it is through His Life, His Energy, His Grace that I am saved. I think ultimately, it is the emphasis on the mystery of God, and the going beyond reason and intellect to connect with Him that sustained my interest in Eastern Orthodoxy. It is now more than ever a faith walk as I march ever forward in the divine light of God’s eternal life in Christ.

Images

I have had to wrangle it out with some folks who view Orthodox iconography as idol worship. It seemed like none of the typical apologetics worked with my crowd, so I tried a different approach. Whether it has had any affect or not remains to be seen, but here is what I have been saying:

"Isn't it true that advertisers and those who study the effects of repeated exposure to various images, whether through billboards, magazines or other media, conclude that there is a direct correlation to what people see and how it affects their behavior? There are a myriad of articles which reveal that those who are constantly exposed to violent images tend to show signs of aggresive behavior. So, if negative images affect you negatively, wouldn't positive images affect you positively? Since the icons are holy images reflecting the life of Christ and the fruit of the Spirit in those who follow Him, constant and reverent exposure to these images should likewise produce holiness and spirituality in their viewers."

Of course, the issue of kissing an icon also is bothersome and where the line between the "proper use" of images and idolatry intersect. It is as if kissing something suddenly makes it an idol. As my priest says, "If kissing something makes it an idol, then we shouldn't kiss our children or our spouses either."

I may talk more on this later as this is a subject on which much can be said.

Mary Brings Christ To Us All

I wanted to bring you in on an email conversation I had with someone at the Protestant church I used to attend. As with all those who have never had any significant exposure to the Orthodox Church, the question of Mary always comes up. I had emailed my friend a snapshot view of what the typical Orthodox Christian believes about Mary - here is the response followed by my response to him - enjoy!

I wanted to continue our conversation about the Orthodox Church. This has been great interaction for me. Thanks for sending the info about the church's position on Mary. I'd love to talk face to face about it but for now, let me say this. I could live with most of their position but when they say:

"She becomes the New Eve as Christ is the New Adam, lifting by her obedience the curse that the first Eve brought upon the human race by her disobedience."

And

"...the Orthodox Church believes that Mary was cleansed of all sin at the Annunciation after she had agreed to accept God's offer. It was at that point that the Holy Spirit came upon her to make her fit to receive the Word in her womb. At that moment she became "blessed" and "full of grace." "

I tend to think that to be heresy. I know that is a strong response and like I said, I'd love to hear more of what you think.

No one but Christ can be attributed with the work of lifting the curse of sin and no one but Christ has lived a moment on earth without sin. Thoughts?


Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply!

I never in my life ever thought I would be defending Marian theology, but, like you, these interactions have been great for me as well, as they help me clarify my own thoughts.

I guess the questions I must ask are these: Does Mary's obedience or disobedience mean anything at all? Was she just an insignificant slave girl whom Gabriel found going door-to-door until he found someone who would say "Yes" to his proposition? Or, was she fashioned, formed and knit together for this very purpose, and then placed into a family that would train her in the righteous ways of the Lord? Considering the amount of detail in the Law regarding the tabernacle, the sacrifices, the offerings, the cleansings, etc., it would seem God would take great care in preparing and purifying the one in whom He would dwell. But even after all of that preparation, Mary still had a will - she could decide yes or no when confronted by the angel Gabriel. Yes, it was Christ who reversed the curse of sin, but was it not also the work of Christ who prepared Mary for the holy moment which opened the door for God to enter into our world? Nonetheless, it still was Mary's choice that brought us life, just as it was Eve's choice that brought us death.

I can certainly understand not wanting to take any glory from Christ or diminish the work only He could do, but as both the Old and New Testament demonstrate, God's work is accomplished through people. No Christian would argue that the Bible is God's work, nonetheless, He used people to write it. In the same way, Mary is used to lift the curse by being a humble servant of God and offering her body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to Him, giving birth to the Life, and making the Way available to us all. An interesting side note - in all of the Orthodox pictures (icons) of Mary, Christ is also always in the picture with her - they are never separated.

I am going to venture a guess here. When Billy Graham dies, I would guess that many memorials in his honor will be placed in churches all across the world. Why? Because he has lead millions to Christ, because we are to give honor to whom honor is due, and because it will be our way of saying, "Thank you for giving to the Lord." In the same way, Mary has been honored in the Orthodox church as the one who has brought Christ not just to millions, but to us all.

Regarding Mary being cleansed of all sin, I know that for me as a Christian, there have been many truly life-changing moments. God's great grace has purged many things that will simply never be a part of my life again - He has cleansed them from me thoroughly. And as I continue to grow, he will prune and cut as He knows how until the day "I am presented before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy" (Jude 24).

Now, in preparing a vessel of honor that He Himself would dwell in and enter the world through, is it such a stretch to imagine that His great grace so changed Mary that she commited no sin after "the Holy Spirit came upon her and the power of the Most High overshadowed her" (Luke 1:35)? I think it can be reasonably inferred that this power was not only to conceive Christ inside of her, but also to form Him, protect Him, deliver Him, raise Him and for all of those other things mother's do for their children. Would not such direct, intimate and continuous interaction with the power of the Most High and the purging fire of the Holy Spirit have an effect on your entire being? You are correct to say it is a heresy that she was without sin, but to say that God so graced her that she then committed no sin is not heresy, as John says, "he writes these things so that you will not sin" (1 John 2:1). She offered her body as a slave of righteousness - there could have been no other act more righteous than to bring the Savior into the world!

For me, it helps to imagine how the culture of that time would have reacted to such events; what their perceptions would be. Also, what are the implications of their thoughts and reactions of these holy events. Then, look and see how history actually played out.

What do you think?

Tongues

Somewhere way back in my teen years as I was hearing about "churchy" things, I found a tract in a phone booth that said "Call this number for the answer...", so, I called it. It began with the overly dramatic and quite pretentious, "Hello, friend...", but I continued to listen to see what "the answer" was.

It told me I needed to be saved! What the heck did that mean?

At the time my parents were sending me to Lutheran catechism lessons and I had never heard this phrase before. As a matter of fact, the whole catechism was confusing since our pastor spoke without making much sense most of the time. Even my parents said they couldn't understand his sermons, so here I was stuck in these classes trying to glean a kernel of truth from this man.

He gave me a ride home one night from class, so I asked him, "What do I need to do to be saved?" He gave me one of the scariest answers I had ever heard from his mouth. He said, "I think you are saved by listening to me." I thought, "Man, I am doomed to hell, because I don't understand a single thing he says!"

Years later, I was attending a charismatic church, but he had stopped by our house to see my parents for a pastoral visitation. My mom told him I was going to a charismatic church now, and you could see in his face that he was scrambling for something nice to say, so he blurted out, "Well, we all have our different ways of believing."

Perhaps my experience with him is what drew me to a church that spoke in tongues.