The Energizing Rush of Sin

I was thinking today about why our bodies take to sin so readily - why does it give us satisfaction? I thought about the energy of our life being lived out in these bodies. I thought perhaps the self-contained impact of us acting selfishly or sinfully energizes us because our focus and energy is churning inside of our being like an internal combustion engine.

Now I am certainly not justifying sin by any means, but I can see in it this self-perpetuating fire that gives us a temporary rush and feeling of being alive. But, it burns us out. Sin spends all of our internal fuel on destroying ourselves unbeknownst to us, as we can only feel the flesh-gratifying rush of our own bodies burning up our fuel.

When we become Christians, the opposite occurs. Instead of a self-gratifying rush, we feel a different energy, an uncomfortable and unsettling pain of denying ourselves. Sure, we often fall back on the highly addictive impulses of fulfilling the desires of our flesh, and then we, if we are following the Christian ways of repentance, feel the unsettling pain of confession to purge ourselves of this addiction.

One way to look at it is, before we were Christians, we turned inward to our own bodies as our comfort and home, and a temporary home at that. As Christians, we are breaking free of this flesh-driven existence like an eagle breaking out of its egg, or a flower emerging from its seed. Once the shell is broken and the eagle emerges, this body then becomes the vehicle for the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, the grace of the Holy Spirit who dwells in us.

This is why the spiritual life is such a battle - it is always about not getting comfortable and continuing to fight the good fight. If we get comfortable, then we are allowing the flesh to get its way. It will burn up our life until we are nothing but ashes. But, when we fight to break out of this shell, out of this seed, the flesh is crucified and risen, and our energies fill the world with life – God’s life. We become deified and transfigured - we attain to theosis, spirit, soul and body. We acquire the Holy Spirit.

When we choose to sin, we close the door on the light God is shining in us, and our being is filled with darkness. We feel the consequences of the death sin brings. We beg for mercy and forgiveness hoping to never sin again and know the horrible emptiness of our sin. We repent and open the door again for the Light to shine forth in our beings and transform us into the image of Christ; to transfigure us as He did Himself on Mount Tabor. I think this is the hope of all Christians – Christ in us, the hope of glory. Few will know it in this life to the extent I have described it above, but we all will know this glory, in all its fullness, unto the ages of ages.

The Biggest Hang Up With Ancient Christianity

Almost without exception, when I tell my friends I converted to Orthodoxy, they ask me, "So, do you pray to Mary?" If I say I do, then in their minds, I am not really a Biblical Christian.
But, is that really true? Certainly, everyone has the right to interpret the Bible anyway they like, and all churches will have a foundational system, whether formal or informal, on the way to approach the Scriptures. As you will see below, the Bible certainly supports the practice of praying to Mary.

First of all, do Christians die? In the beginning, God told Adam that if he ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he would die. In fact, he did not die physically for a long time, but he did die spiritually. In the same way, Christians die physically, but they never die spiritually. When the Sadducee's tried to trap Jesus in regards to the resurrection, he said in Matthew 22:31-32:

"But concerning the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was spoken to you by God, saying, 'I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob'? God is not the God of the dead, but of the living."

One can conclude, then, that Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are not dead. In another passage regarding the resurrection, Jesus is speaking to Martha:

Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again." Martha said to Him, "I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?" (John 11:23-26).

I think His point is clear: Christians shall never die.
 
I guess it could be argued here that Jesus is saying we will never die after the resurrection. But, that would seem to contradict what He said to the Sadducees. He said He is the God of the living, and since even His own resurrection had not yet occurred, then His statement must mean the righteous do live after their physical death, and will later resurrect physically as well.

But, because they live spiritually, can we assume we can pray to them; that we can ask them to intercede for us? Isn't that a bit of a stretch? Before I continue with some more biblical references in this regard, let's ask this question: When we die, do we become greater or lesser? Do our capacities, powers and talents increase or diminish? Paul said, "To live is Christ, to die is gain". When Jesus is judging the ones whom He gave the talents to, to the ones who were faithful, He gave more. Another passage states the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable. From these passages, I think the biblical case can be made that we become greater when we die. Who we are is magnified in Christ.
 
With that said, how do we know if the citizens of heaven can pray for us? We know for certain we can pray for each other here on earth, so if we become something greater after death, then there is no reason to believe we stop praying for people once we enter heaven. Even Jesus still prays for people! If He is our Lord and we follow Him in all things, then this aspect of our afterlife in the interim, before our physical resurrection, means interceding for others, even as He intercedes for us.
Let's look at some other interesting scriptures. 1 Peter 2:4-5:

Coming to Him as to a living stone, rejected indeed by men but chosen by God and precious, you also as living stones are being built up a spiritual house, a holy priesthood to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

If we are "living stones" being built up a "spiritual house", then this ministry, this calling, this state of being could not possibly end at our physical death, as we are a spiritual household. This next passage in Ephesians drives this point home:

Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building , being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. (Ephesians 2:19-22).

Paul re-emphasizes that we are a spiritual household. We are being "fitted together"; we are growing, and our foundation is Christ, the apostles and the prophets. If there is any doubt about this new city, this heavenly city, then these next verses out of the book of Hebrews will illustrate how it all ties together:

By faith [Abraham] dwelt in the land of promise as in a foreign country, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise, for he waited for the city which has foundations, whose builder and maker is God. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them. But you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel. (Hebrews 11:9-10, 14-16; 12:22-24)

If this is my country as a Christian, why would I not ask my spiritual brethren to help me by asking for their prayers? Like Abraham, I dwell by faith in my promised land, whose builder and maker is God. But, even though it is by faith I dwell there, this passage indicates it is a real place – it is Mount Zion, the city of the living God, and I am a member of this spiritual household as a fellow citizen with the saints. As the book of James states, the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much. And I, dwelling amongst the most righteous ones, would much rather have one of these triumphant victors, who have run the race and obtained the crown, pray for me than anyone else on earth. And Mary, the first of all saints and honored by her Son, is certainly a most effective and fervent intercessor in this eternal, undying and glorious heavenly country – the Kingdom of God.

Game Day

Every morning when I get in the shower, I see my Old Spice body wash facing me, and its particular scent is "Game Day". The other day, it hit me what a profound truth that is to wake up to. Today is game day. Today, I go out to run the race and win it. Today I go out to conquer sin in my life. I get in the shower and wash away all the filth and crud I have accumulated the past day, and now I am ready to begin anew. It's a new game, and I can win today. I can't do anything about yesterday, but today, it is game day. The opponent already has his plan laid out for me today. My coach also has a game plan. So, I get in the huddle after my shower, and I listen to the plays for today's game. I do my spiritual calisthenics and keep my eye keen and my mind sober – I attack with the Spirit of love and joy, peace and patience, gentleness and kindness, faithfulness and goodness, and self-control. Today gives me another opportunity to score for my team, to be the MVP, to contribute to a winning game. Sure, some days I suffer injuries and some days I am benched, but my head is always in the game. I know the plays and the players on both teams. I fight to win, and my coach is there to lead me to victory. It is game day. Let's win this one.

Post Pascha Blues

Dead silence has fallen upon the beginnings and endings of my prayers. For forty days I have been singing "Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death, and upon those in the tombs bestowing life". In a reliving the experience sort of way, I feel the emptiness the apostles must have felt when Christ ascended in to heaven after being with them the forty days after his resurrection. By taking away my joyful song from my prayers, I also have a heightened sense of anticipation for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. And so, the celebration and power of God is realized in its fullness as the Holy Spirit comes and abides in us, cleanses us from our sins and saves our souls to the uttermost. God is good, and he has given us these touch-points of grace so we can perpetuate the realness of his life, death, resurrection, ascension and outpouring of his Spirit and taste of his salvation - we can experience it just like the apostles.

The Lights Are Back On

I started a new job not long ago, and I met someone who is also a blogger (His blog is Benedictus). I mentioned my blog to him, and after he read some of my posts, he encouraged me to pick it back up again. I have left it dormant for over two years, and I have been taken off the blog rolls of other bloggers. I guess I had unrealistic expectations when I first started. I tried to model my blog after someone who wrote frequently, and I just couldn't keep up, so I figured I was not meant for this game. Then, as I looked around at other blogs, many do not have new posts every other day or every week for that matter. I was setting the bar too high. On that note, I will do what I have noticed a lot of bloggers do: write when I am moved by a thought, an experience, a conversation or a great quote. I am hoping I pick up some new readers and regain some old ones. Even if none pass this way, I feel I will be sharing with the online world what God has given me and allow Him to do with it what He will. May God's blessing be on these writings and on you as you stop by and visit in your online adventures.

Lights Out

The new year has begun, and with that, time to rethink things. For now, I am turning the lights out on The Midnight Disciple. With lots of church and family activities pressing me for my time, I seem to never have a moment to crank out a good blog.

However, I am not closing the blog, so please feel free to enjoy many of the past posts on this blog. If you care to make a comment on any of the previous blogs, simply add a comment to this last blog as well so I can easily find your comment.

I appreciate those who have checked here regularly, especially those who have taken time to comment. I wish all a happy new year, and if you happen to stumble across this blog, I hope the previous articles are a blessing to you.

May God's profound peace be yours.

Nicodemus

Lord, Teach Me To Pray!

I remember for many years crying out to God for a meaningful prayer life. I would hear our pastor emphasize each week in his sermons the need for spending time alone with God. So, I tried. I would show up to my "appointment with God", as he liked to call it, with my Bible in hand and with my list of things to pray about. I never felt like I was quite getting it right.

I wasn't alone in this feeling. My Christian friends would often bring this topic up in conversation. They would ask, "How do you do your devotional time?" I could only say I was struggling with it too, and I told them that I would read the Bible and offer up some prayer requests during my devotionals. Others would say you should use a Bible study guide or a devotional book. As much as it was a struggle and mystery on how to do this, I would continue to show up, even if for only fifteen minutes. My prayers seem to fall flat, and the most oft repeated prayer for me was, "God, how do I pray? How do I have a fruitful time alone with You?"

My wife and I went to a reunion of some of our long-time Christian friends several years ago, and the guy who used to lead the group gathered us all in his living room for a short devotional. He asked how many of us are consistently spending time alone with God. I raised my hand, even though that time alone often seemed empty. But, surprisingly, no one else raised their hands! At that point, I was embarrassed to stand out as "Mr. Super-spiritual". As the conversation ensued, however, it was evident others had struggled and simply gave up trying to create a meaningful time alone with God.

And, several years later, along came Orthodoxy. Now, it's not a matter of what I should pray, but in finding enough time to pray! My prayer time now is radically fruitful; radically meaningful. Not to say it isn't a struggle to get myself out of bed, but once I am up, I know what needs to be done according to my prayer rule. The Lord answered my prayer by bringing me the time-tested and enriching prayers of the Orthodox Church. My prayer life has become something far more than it ever was as a Protestant, and something far more than I ever expected it could be!

I think everyone needs a system to make their prayer time meaningful. After trying many different ways, I find the Orthodox system to be the most engaging and life-changing. Instead of sitting on my couch, coffee in hand and my Bible open to an inspirational passage as I send up my wish-list of things I want to happen, I now enter the prayer arena in the Orthodox fashion. This means lighting a candle, fasting, awakening my spirit and focusing my mind through using the Jesus prayer, acclimating my senses to the Kingdom of God by using icons, Christian symbols and colors, opening my prayer book and engaging in prayers written by the humblest of Saints that change me as I pray through their penetrating insight into the condition of my soul.

Yes, it is a radical change from my Protestant days, and most Protestants would find the typical Orthodox prayer corner distasteful. Nonetheless, it is a system of spiritual saturation in all things Christian designed to change you from glory to glory and prepare you for His glorious Presence, both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages.

Are We Getting Better Yet?

Some long-time friends and I have been exchanging emails back and forth about the condition of our world, the New World Order, and UFO's. It all started out so innocently, but then we suddenly became engaged in trying to figure it all out. Being the token religious freak in the group, I added my two cents.

Basically, I summed it all up by saying this: Satan rules the affairs of this planet. I know that is a shocking statement, and I am not saying God does not rule or has no control, but to sum up the Biblical world view in one short, pithy sentence: We gave Satan, the enemy of our souls, the dominion to rule this planet by choosing to obey him rather than God when we ate of the wrong tree.

Many consider this a fairy tale, and truthfully, it kind of sounds like one, but let's summarize what all of the internet chatter and history in general have taught us:

1. The rich and powerful oppress and exploit the rest of us. This has been true since the beginning of time. Doesn't sound fair, and since God is just and fair, this would not be indicative of His rule, so, it must be the rule of a sinister, evil force. Given all of the New World Order talk all over the internet these days, sounds like the same old song of Czars, Kings and Sultans having all the power to rule their lands, just being played out on a grander scale now. Why would this happen now when America has proven to be a prosperous enterprise for everyone involved -there would be no reason to suddenly change this money-winning formula. I think it is because it is not enough to be rich and powerful, but to be the the richest and most powerful. It is not about our happiness and prosperity, it is about theirs. However, if they can keep us all fat and happy while they do whatever they want, so much the better for them - it keeps us quiet that way, sort of like a "Brave New World" system.

2. Aliens. This is one of the most insightful articles on alien visitations I have ever seen: http://www.space.com/searchforlife/seti_shostak_visit_020627.html. Makes no sense that they would visit us, unless they accidentally stumbled across us like a scout ant finding food, and then sending the entire ant community to come and feed on us. On the other hand, if they are evil spiritual beings (as this article indicates: http://www.orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/alien_abduct.aspx), and their purpose is to draw us further from God, then again, it aligns well with my statement that Satan rules the affairs of this planet.

3. Mass confusion - Red states, blue states, unions, no unions, God, no God, evolution, devolution, truth, no truth. The list goes on. We should expect this sort of confusion and progressively getting worse scenario if in fact we are a fallen race. We wouldn't expect a terminally ill person to get better each day, but would expect their condition to worsen until death. In the same way, as our "fairy tale" points out, we didn't choose Life, but because we chose the other tree, the Tree of Life was barred from us so we wouldn't remain in this fallen condition forever. In that sense, death is a merciful act - can you imagine how deteriorated and gruesome life would become if our fallen condition perpetuated forever?

So, there you have it folks - not rocket science to see that history plays out our fallen human condition in the hands of a sinister, evil force whose aim is to keep us from life-saving truth. Everything else is simply ornamentation on the same ugly frame of a lost and dying humanity in search of a drop of life-giving water to sustain us one more day. We all need hope to give meaning and purpose in our arduous journey toward our graves, and our hope needs to be rightly placed, or we will certainly be disappointed again and again.

May you find the true meaning of the Incarnation of the Uncreated God into His created world and all the implications of this act during this joyous Christmas season!

Obama Is Not The Antichrist...But Maybe Something Worse.

I have never been one for making "political" commentary, and I'll admit I haven't deeply explored the issues, but watching from the sideline, I am seeing some connections between our new president, and our old prophecies. Seems like people have been looking for the Antichrist for years, and each generation has never been disappointed to find one, even several! Maybe we have moved past that now to something even more ominous - the beast.

Each generation has always thought they were it, that they would be the ones to see the end of the world, and each has been mistaken. Eventually, it will happen. The current image our new president has around the globe seems irrationally glowing. The whole world seems to be following after him. I read somewhere that 44 sheep were sacrificed in his honor. Perhaps I do not know enough about world history, but I have never heard of a political leader who has had the entire globe fawning over him. Hitler could certainly be considered an Antichrist, but he by no means had the world's favor. Considering the messianic aura that was imposed on Obama prior to the election coupled with the current fervor, one has to wonder about the biblical implications of this one man's status.

We are informed in the Bible that we can be assured the Second and Glorious coming of our Lord has not happened yet because the man of lawlessness has not been revealed. Now, a charismatic, charming man appears on the world's political stage and is heralded as the "first truly global President" by mainstream media outlets, and whose moral convictions include live birth abortions. That in and of itself impresses me as a lawless man. The list of his lawless convictions is much bigger than this, and it all basically undermines each of the Ten Commandments.

I have heard of Christians who voted for him for economic reasons. They believe he will save the economy. If economics is the most important thing, then our focus is in the wrong place. We cannot serve both God and money. Incidentally, there is only one other reference that I know of in the Bible regarding the number 666, and it is regarding Solomon's gold. If the mark of the beast has to do with our love of gold instead of our love of God, then maybe this is the time when the man of lawlessness has been revealed. Just maybe.

The Spirit Behind the Crucifix

I have a friend who is a Protestant missionary in Bolivia. His Christian background is heavily Charismatic, and, with that background, he tends to suspect "spirits" behind events and circumstances. Although I appreciate his sensitivity to the spiritual world, something I think more Christians should be attuned to, it seems as if his focus is on the evil spiritual world. One day, he was telling me how people in that area worship the cross. He said he was curious "what spirit was behind that crucifix."

I was curious why he would think there was an evil spirit on a crucifix! I guess the real question for him and for all of my Charismatic friends is this: If an evil spirit can reside on an object, why can't the Holy Spirit also reside on an object? I think it is clear from the book of Acts that the Holy Spirit does "attach" Himself to physical objects, such as Paul's handkerchief. Can someone know that a person is worshipping a cross, or can an evil spirit attach itself to a cross and deceive someone who is calling out to our Savior who has conquered death through death - the crucifix being the very image of the cross where he disarmed the powers and authorities, triumphing over them (Col 2:15).

The cross is a holy thing. Holy things have the Holy Spirit on them. The Spirit does manifest Himself in the world giving great glory to God and affirming the reality of His kingdom. My missionary friend has never been to an Orthodox Church before. I wonder if he would relish in the abundant saturation of the Spirit of God seen in every corner and heard in every hymn, or wriggle at experiencing the Real Presence of God perhaps for the first time ever.

Taking It To The Streets

Orthodoxy has such a visually-rich liturgy that I think it would do well with billboard advertising. I know, spoken like a true ex-Protestant, always wanting to change things. From some of my chats with my priest, it sounds as if advertising is not something the Church does. On the other hand though, I don't think that is entirely true. Websites, for instance, are a new form of advertising. I have also seen ads in the Faith section of our local newspaper for Orthodox Churches. So, why not billboards?

One idea I had (I'm not in advertising, but it is sort of fun to think up stuff like this) is to have a billboard that shows an Orthodox altar on the right and the typical Protestant altar (pulpit, stage, etc) on the left. The caption would read, "Which church has watered down the Gospel?" I think it would be strikingly clear which one has removed worship elements from the Sunday morning service. Hopefully, it would make people pause and think.

I would be interested in hearing your ideas for Orthodox billboards. Even though I am not in advertising, I still have an evangelistic mindset in drawing people to the fullness of the faith, and in helping them realize there is so much more to their glorious heritage that is still maintained to this day in the blessed Holy Orthodox Church.

Will God Ask If I Was Orthodox On Judgement Day?

I recently told a friend of mine I had converted to Orthodoxy. After a brief conversation about Christianity, his reply was, "Well, I don't think God is going to ask you whether you were Orthodox or Lutheran or Baptist when you see Him." I agreed. I don't think He is going to ask you anything about your denomination, but instead, you will stand there with your soul bared, and everything you are, to the core of your being, exposed. It will probably be a scary and embarrassing moment for most. What church you attended may not be as important as how well did your church prepare you for the day you stand vulnerable before the radiant, glorious and all-consuming fire of the living presence of God. How well did they train you to fight the forces of evil which war against your soul? Did your church challenge you to crucify and put to death the misdeeds of the flesh and control your passions?

As I pointed out to my friend, there are coaches who train you to a level where you can enjoy a sport. There are others who are more competitive who train you to win games. Then there are those who train at the Olympic level where their athletes are the best of the best, trained to finish the race with the victor's crown, to "run in such a way as to get the prize".

I knew a guy who played football in high school. He was really good and had a lot of fun playing the game. He went to college on a football scholarship. He said at this point, football stopped being fun. They were analyzing films and plays - they were making it more of a science than a sport. The pro level was even more intense, at which point he decided to go into pharmaceutical sales.

In the same way, Orthodoxy, when practiced fully, is intense. As my priest has said before, if Orthodoxy were just one of many right ways of practicing Christianity, it is the wrong way, because so much more is demanded of you. However, if it truly is the Olympic way, the way of the victorious martyrs and crown-bearing champions, then there would never be a need for God to ask if I am Orthodox or any other denomination. I will have been fully trained, fully discipled, presented "before His presence without fault and with great joy" because I have followed the Way laid out before me, passed down from Jesus to the Apostles to the entire Church for all generations to come. If any have strayed from this Way through a "different Gospel", then they have left the original Way, and horrifically trained others in their same errors leaving weakened souls in their wake.

May God have mercy on us all.

Holy Smoke!

I apologize for my unplanned and unannounced hiatus – it is my plan to have a new blog each week from here on out.

On that note, an incense story.

Desiring to enrich my prayer life, I made my first attempt to use incense during my prayer time at home. I thought it would be so simple, so easy, so discreet. Since the rest of my household is not Orthodox, I waited until they were all sleeping soundly in their beds three and a half levels away from my prayer corner on the opposite end of the house. My prayer corner is in a place where no one likes to go anyway. It is an unfinished sub-basement often referred to as the “dirty basement” by the female members of my family.

I lit the charcoal disc and waited for it to get hot. After a short sizzle and some flying bits of tiny red sparks, I launched my first incense kernel like a mini chunk of food on a tiny little grill. It produced some smoke for what seemed like a very short time. So, I threw another one on, and then another, and then another. I continued in my prayers relishing in the added olfactory dimension of this truly blessed time of prayer.

I didn’t realize how much smoke that little censer was putting out until I turned around and saw a thick, hazy fog filling my little basement. It looked rather neat to see the light beams from my clamp-on lamps shoot through the smoke. However, I was getting concerned about how much of this was drifting upstairs. The two times my family has been to an Orthodox service, the incense nearly choked them to death – they recoiled every time they saw the priest start to swing the censer.

After I left the basement, I did a sniff test to see if I could smell it anywhere near the door. I didn’t smell anything! I checked a few more corners of the house to see if it made its way up through the vents – still nothing. I felt good about heading to bed, as I was still one level away, and the smell did not drift. That was about 10:30 P.M.

I’m lying in bed still a little concerned, because that was a heck of a cloud I left behind down there, and I knew it had to go somewhere. At around 11:15, it had wafted its way into our bedroom. My wife, who was sleeping so soundly when I came to bed that she didn’t even wake up when I plopped down on the mattress, suddenly was becoming restless. She let out a sleepy cough, and then another, but this one was a little more robust. She then sat up in bed, and I pretended to be asleep hoping she didn’t notice. Still half asleep, she said, “Something’s burning!”

So as not to worry her, I immediately confessed I used incense during my prayers before bed, at which point she pleaded that I never do that again. After listening to her cough and hack for the next fifteen minutes, I of course agreed to her request.

I guess there’ll be no smells and bells at my household for a while. It all just seems so censeless (groan!)

Woefully Short of His Glory

What a whirlwind it has been since Great Lent and Holy Week. Even though I have been attending an Orthodox church for several years now, this was my first Pascha as an Orthodox Christian, and I noticed a big difference. For me, it was the difference between watching a game from the sidelines and actually being in the game. The hymns seemed deeper; the fast seemed more intense and effective. The anticipation of the resurrection was stronger than it has ever been in my entire Christian life!

Now, it seems as if God is testing my faith (James 1). And, I am failing miserably! It hasn't been pure joy, and I have reacted, not in trust, but in a pathetically carnal way. As if I had either no hope or no trust in God at all. As if my circumstances were random acts unnoticed by our Heavenly King. As if God has been taken by surprise as well and doesn't really know what to do to help me out.

Of course, the reality is that He is fully in control. I have begged for God's forgiveness for my lack of trust in Him and for responding to my circumstances in such an unspiritual fashion. For all my blathering about my faith on this blog, I too am weak, lost, and in need of God's great mercy now and forever. As much as I would love to react to my circumstances with the peace and calm of our Lord, I fall so woefully short and need Him entirely.

Pagan Christianity

Seems like I am writing my blogs these days on the fly, and this one is no exception. I stumbled across a book at one of the major book chains titled 'Pagan Christianity'. I only had time to just peruse it, so I didn't get chance to really dig in to find out what this author is trying to accomplish. If you know more about this, please add comments, but here is what I gleened.

At first, I expected the book to be an attack on the so-called pagan practices of Roman Catholicism/Orthodoxy (rituals, symbols, praying to saints, etc.). Instead, it seemed to be attacking nearly every major tradition of orthodox (little 'o') Christianity. He did, of course, mention what I mentioned above, but he also attacked the practice of building churches with steeples and the long tradition of giving a sermon at a church service. He said sermons are a carryover from the Greek orator days when sophists spent a great deal of time perfecting their speeches.

I thought that if he is classifying the sermon as a pagan practice, that would pretty much mean all of Christianity is pagan. At this point, I turned to the back cover to see why he wrote this book. Apparently, he is trying to get back to the 'biblical roots' of church emphasizing the 'house church'. Like I said, I am writing this on the fly, and I have not really read the book, but can we really say that the entire church tradition has been wrong all these years? Of course, Orthodox Christians do not believe so, but instead, we emphasize preserving the ancient traditions.

To say they incorporated pagan practices I think misses the point entirely of God revealing Himself to mankind. Didn't pagans have human sacrifices and drink the blood of their victims? Was Jesus instituting paganism into traditional Jewish beliefs by saying we should drink His blood and eat His flesh? Didn't pagans have beliefs about virgin births and the gods becoming men? Maybe he should have said the New Testament is itself a pagan document since it has such 'pagan' things in it.

The truth of the matter is that Christianity brought to light the Truth of God in the world and revealed how pagan beliefs and practices were often a distortion of the ultimate Truth. It explains why the pagan world identified with Christianity so willingly. It was as if the pagans were in the dark, 'feeling' their way through life and someone suddenly turned the light on to reveal what they were 'feeling'. Their descriptions and understanding of what they were 'feeling' changed after the light came on and they saw things as they really were.

Is it anti-biblical to build a church over a holy place, such as where Jesus was born or where a Saint is buried as his book states? The Bible states the Israelites built things where God had done something, such as the memorial built in the Jordan river where the ark of God had been (Joshua 4). It also states in the book of Revelation that the souls of the saints are under the altar in heaven. If the Israelites patterned their worhip after the heavenly model (as God commanded), how much more so should we who have been given the fullness of the faith?

Those are my knee-jerk reactions to my scant perusal of this book. I would be interested to hear from others who may have read this book or heard other such attacks against church traditions.

Unorthodox Guitar Playing

This post has nothing to do with the faith, but being a musician, I had to post it for all to enjoy. I stumbled across this on YouTube and thought that everyone would appreciate some really good and unconventional guitar playing. As you can tell by my picture on the right, I favor the guitar - it is how I misspent my youth - trying to become a rock star. Once I lost the hair, then the whole rock star image and dream disappeared too! Hope you enjoy this little piece: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4BYMvVvMg0

How Do We Know What Jesus Looked Like?

A Messianic Jewish friend of mine and I were talking about icons. He has a big problem with them. I told him that the Jews were forbidden to make an image of God because no one knew what He looked like. Since God became flesh in Jesus Christ, we know exactly what He looks like, as Jesus is the image of God and the exact representation of His being. I asked him, "Do you think that of the thousands of people that saw Him, not one person drew or painted His picture?" His response was surprising since I consider him an intelligent and articulate individual. He said, "Don't be so sure of it."

But, for the sake of argument, let's say he is right. Supposing no one ever painted a picture of the actual Jesus, does this mean that His image is still not captured in the icon? People who knew Jesus well didn't recognize him after His resurrection until the Lord decided to "reveal" Himself by breaking bread. People who feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty and visit the sick also don't recognize Jesus either. Does this mean His image is not in the world? Does the mean we have no point of reference to the God-man, the one made flesh for all to behold?

I think the truth of the matter lies in the icon image itself. It shows this man to be the Word of God, the Great I Am, the Almighty, the one who was humiliated, crucified, risen and ascended. The one who blesses and teaches us. He is our healer, our portion and our cup, the One Who Is and Who Was and Who is to come. My friend would certainly never deny these truths about Christ, and yet, despite any particular artistic detail regarding the accuracy of His physical features, the icons proclaim all of these realities and more - the Spirit of Truth rests upon them.

The same can be said for all of the other icons - they represent the truth of the Faith and the reality of the Kingdom of God, of a life that never ends, and of the living stones that make up the heavenly temple. It has been said so well before by many others, but Paul says it best when he says in the book of Hebrews that we have come to the heavenly Jerusalem, to the spirits of righteous men made perfect. Our icons help us keep this focus - on things above and not on the things of the earth.

Orthodox Lent

Fasting is hard. No matter how you look at it, fasting is hard. It requires a good deal of sacrifice to do the fast right. You not only have to look at your internal motivations and attitudes, but you also have to maintain the Church prescribed diet in obedience to God.

But, with that said, I want to offer a up a public thanks to God and to all who peruse here - it would be much more difficult for me to keep the fast if it weren't for my wife making me special meals. I have heard of other converts whose spouses did not convert with them (as is my case) who were on their own when it came to the fasts. My wife is first to admit she dislikes cooking, and she thinks God has a grand sense of humor to place her in a situation where meal-making is yet more challenging. She not only does this during Great Lent, but also during the week on Wednesdays and Fridays. So, as I have told her and now broadcast to the world, thank you! Thank you for your service to God in my spiritual journey and for understanding this is where I need to be.

Like all good, God-fearing Protestants, she has issues with some of the Orthodox ways, yet she still supports me in the fasts, the feasts, the extra services during Lent, and in going to separate churches. Certainly not an ideal situation while raising two pre-teen daughters, but the peace is kept in the household, and my prayers go up for her and for them.

If you feel so inclined, I would love more than ever to have them join me on the Orthodox path, so please keep them in your prayers.

May God's profound peace and enriching grace be yours during this most holy of all seasons.

(For all of those who are Orthodox seekers, there is no better time to check out Orthodox services than during this period when many extra services are done throughout the week - I especially like the Pre-Sanctified Liturgy on Wednesday nights.)

"It's Fine For You, But It's Not For Everybody"

"Well..." they begin to say as they become more and more put off by your convert enthusiasm, "...it's good for you but it's not for me." I often heard this when I became 'born again' back in the early 1980's. They would say Jesus isn't for everybody, or they might even say Jesus can't be the only one true Savior. What about those who have never heard?

Now, my new convert enthusiasm is from discovering Orthodoxy. I began telling all of my Christian friends - friends who used to pass out tracts with me as we witnessed to the lost out on the street corners and who heard all of the same excuses - about my great find in discovering the Orthodox Church. And now, they are saying, "Well, it's good for you but it's not for me." and "There can't be only one true church. What about all of the other Christians?"

Ironic, isn't it? I guess it goes to show people are pretty much the same when they don't want to have their minds changed about something. We all make excuses for why we don't want to change. The non-believer says, "As long as we all believe something, and are sincere about it, that's all that God cares about." And the Christian, when confronted with the big, scary, historical, beautiful, Orthodox Church, says "As long as we all believe in Jesus, that's all God cares about."

I am certainly over-simplifying here and mean no offense to anyone, but it has been almost comical to me to get pretty much the same reactions and hear the same lines from my Christian friends when I present to them the very thing that would complete their Christian faith. I know I have said this before, and others have said it too, but it truly was like finding a treasure hidden in a field - a treasure with no end to its riches.

Why Pray To Mary and the Saints?

There has been a recent discussion about Mary on The Path blog. I really enjoy his honest inquiry. This discussion about Mary generated quite a few responses, two of which were from me because, like many former Protestants, this whole idea of Mary and the Saints is a huge deal. From the outset of my journey, it was one of the most distasteful things for me. I thought, "Why can't they just leave that part out - it is just so unbiblical!"

It wasn't until I read a response from Perry Robinson that it hit me. Here is a snippet of Perry Robinson's comment followed by what I posted:

"The saints are deified and enjoy participation in the divine life to a fuller measure. Consequently they not only enjoy holiness and immortality but other divine powers also." Of course, this is exactly it! If they were great prayer warriors here, how much more so there? If they were great miracle workers here, how much more so there? And if Mary was the God-bearing, God-honoring, God-fulfilling worker of His divine will here, how much more so there? I can picture it. We don't become less and dissipate into the fog when our life ends here, we become greater; we see Him face-to-face and become just like Him, for we see Him as He is: An interceding high priest before our Father in heaven, working miracles for the glory of His Name.

I then remembered Jesus stating that wherever He is, His servant is there also - how much more so in the heavenly realm! As Christians, it only gets better for us. Knowing concretely we have this great cloud of witnesses, of intercessors, of miracle workers and protectors, how much more dynamic and rich does that make our walk with God? This is a great relief for me. This is the kind of answer I was hoping for, one that would make me say, "Aha!" I thank God now more than ever for bringing me into Orthodoxy. This is such a milestone moment for me in my journey. I no longer have to internally wince when I hear a saint answered a prayer or Mary performed a miracle - they are His Body, His city and His heritage, living stones in His spiritual household and pillars in the temple of God unto the ages of ages, Amen.